mike (don_negro) wrote,
mike
don_negro

Hard

Right now, I'm fighting a pretty insistant depression, and the only thing that's lifted me out of it is Ritalin, which has limits as to how much you can realistically use in one day. And alcohol, of course, but that has problems of it's own, and isn't something I can rely on.

It stems from fear that I'm not going to succeed as a financial planner, and then all my dreams will be for naught. I have had a dip in my productivity in the last 3 days, and it's coming at a time when I already have a dry spell approaching. Of course, I'll probably need that time to write the 3 plans I've sold, but I'm still scared. I keep telling myself to have faith, that this is what I'm supposed to be doing, that God pretty obviously drug me here by the scruff of my neck just as soon as I asked him to. And that helps, for about 3 minutes at a time. This is not a healthy situation to be in in a business that lives and dies by your outward confidence.

Thanks for listening to me whine.
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